![]() Being ghosted on by someone who I really cared for, who had my back as much as I had theirs, really sucks.īut you know what would suck more? Letting a question I can never answer come to define my entire existence. My friendship with Dan was one interaction with one person out of many interactions I’m likely to have with many different types of people throughout my life. Like failed romantic relationships, there’s a tendency for these things to sit with you, informing future interactions.Īnd then I realise that thinking this way is all bullshit. And my friendship with Dan, I think, has been one roadblock to getting close with new people in life. ![]() There are events that have led me to where I am in life – some late-teenage trauma here a sprinkling of early-twenties fuck-ups there. I haven’t always been a socially anxious person. It’s been well noted how terrible people in their mid- to late-twenties are at making friends, and this is especially true of men – we’re too reserved in the wrong places. So, as I get older, I wonder how my experience with Dan will affect me as I move into later stages of adulthood. We talk a lot about the psychological impact of ghosting – how it causes feelings of ostracism and rejection. Loving and losing someone really hollows out your soul, sapping it of life. Again: what had gone wrong? To this day, I’m still not entirely sure, and it fills me with a very deep, distinct sadness. With each un-replied message and cancelled meet-up, I started to feel like a crazy ex-boyfriend. This was a protracted decoupling from one another. Daily, we had our private time together, where we smoked weed and listened to music, then ventured onto more substantial things: how we were feeling, what is life, all the important stuff you generally read of men not talking to each other about, though we were. There were other friends in the house we shared but this was special. ![]() Dragging me out of my self-imposed, black-out curtain bedroom lair, we’d stay up through the night, just chatting about our lives. We connected on a deeper level.ĭuring university, I went through a tough break-up and Dan helped me get back on my feet. Our friendship wasn't like those of my other male mates, who bonded over Call of Duty and banter. So, someone like Dan seemed to be a secure presence in an otherwise insecure life. When I was growing up, my parents were separated, our finances were messy and we moved around a fair bit. In short, we were always there for each other We’d been on holidays together and had the kind of bonding experiences I remain resolute in not telling anyone about to this day. Dan and I had known each other for years, so the lack of interaction was strange.
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